Players Pleasure

you play so well
all the clues were there

Between Greenford and Perivale

is where I waited for you through the night and the rain and the sunrise
and that's when I understood that you will never return again
Shame
a heart has a mind of it's own

Absolutly Flawless

my entire life has become glitter
It’s not far from the city

As I roll up my sleeves to hand you the first ever promise
landing on your lips in a mystical shape
Consequently
I am reflected in a pond of lucidness

I become distinct
I test the waters
in a numb and messy setting

I keep acknowledging
I am only capable of harming myself

Flayed

Wood is not isotropic. Nor am I; I have my "exquisite points". The map of these points is known to me alone, and it is according to them that I make my way.

Gold Rush

Poster from the Charlie Chaplain movie "Gold Rush"

next to me is a girl with her slouchy eyebrows and pointy nose
see how she wiggles her thumb
she stares into a thick book
One would think it’s the bible
If only it would stop her from daydreaming
Luck would start to roll her way

in my mind I make a joke about the unlikeliness of a queue of fox trotters suddenly appearing to ask if she cares to dance

she doesn't belong to this man looking at her.she doesn't belong.

upon arrival she checks meticulously her pockets, rushes toward the doors, jumps out into invisibility
like an unfinished episode of a soap opera that crashes into your line of thoughts

soon someone else takes her place

Who Are We To Decide That It Is Hopeless?

We are not able to even think adequately about the behaviour that is at the annihilating edge. But what we think is less than what we know: what we know is less than what we love: what we love is so much less that what there is. And to that precise extent we are so much less than what we are. R.D. Laing – “The Politics of Experience and the Bird of Paradise”

A while ago I stumbled upon The Youth Culture Photography Library. It’s really worth paying them a visit for some valuable references to photographers, if you are into that subject area. There are some fantastic black and white images, that can spike up your morning.

Here are a few actors that got me intrigued:

Gavin Watson

Janette Beckham

Peter Anderson

Tony Tye

Have Fun!

Verka Serdyuchka - Real Eurotrash From The Wild Wild East

Okey, if you've never seen it, this should educate you sufficiently. I swore I wouldn’t be tempted to post any You Tube material, but after yesterdays Eurovision I couldn’t resist anymore. This must be the bottom shelf of pop culture. So why do we produce this type of brain damaging pornographic trash? Oh….let me think: because people watch it. Oops. True.

Confinement

sometimes I am afraid to leave my tower
face you
part with my paranoia for another indiscrete confession
inviting you to talk from above

told you! I am not available for chats
I have got enough flies in the soup
stop frowning

it doesn't matter where you are anymore

I could paint my face with worries
drag my eyelids to the very end of my body
discover petals beneath my fingertips
seize this window of opportunities

grab them in darkness as they come along

I’m no sponge
I don’t need glasses to enlarge my world

leave me with avoidance
seek runaways while they still exist

stay away

hurry, my only teabag is getting warmed up for hot water
Outside
Rage with too many degrees

I have changed the locks
on my front door

Misspelt Surname

We try to make up

Parading

With inadequate face gestures

Overrated personalities

Flirting unworthy battles in denial

Suggesting this is sense of humour

Hoping the world will start to lean towards

Our private pavement of blooming roses

We throw fingers up

Disregarding armies of bended soldiers

Gallantly singing irony faced with the iron touch of commandments

We would rather die than get rid of the stitches

Until

World ends

We care too little to notice it

You & I

Similar simultaneously

Buzzing with surreal thoughts

We speak the same aimless language

As if to say

We meant it all

Not knowing how to tell apart intention from result

We add spice to some ones life

We pick up smiles and corpses

We prove stronger and weaker than anyone we have known

Anyone we will ever know

We dare to belong, as we ourselves are eternally lonely

Brother

I can change

It’s a matter of wanting

Not trying

Keep seeing your aims.

Or get someone to teach you how to.

A Question of Numbers

How many times did you remember me?

Or is that an excuse.

I looked at you and all I could see was will

Hard will

Or was it mine?

“can you send me a picture of your dogs favourite toy?” I asked.

Is that an intimate question?

Timing is crucial

So I came by and looked at your shy smile

And all there is, is too short and too far

Damn my Short sight

And I wish I could unbutton that shirt

Melt

But I can’t as that wouldn’t be very friendly of me

Especially

By your desk

And even more so away from it

Or maybe I will?

Watch paper airplanes fly

Above my head

Push desks around

How many times? you ask

My hands are wet

Did it help?

a fool to think this way

About your black trousers

why

have explained the meaning of controlor

why bother

believing

at all

Surely I’m no spy.

No disillusions

Or illusions for that matter

All I sleep with is my own hair

Hair prevents me to hear

The doorbells and the laughter

I’m sure they’re there

How sure are you?

“Wicked” she said

Smiling into a mirror reflection

I repeated her gesture

In vain

Suggesting matters get sorted out in close proximity of my elbow

Nothing got done

Although her smile went down

The drain like the rest of it

And her dress stopped staining her underwear

For at least a few good washes

Spring

Yes, we all knew what that meant

Although only just pretending to

Still be asleep

Glass Portrait

Nothing appears settled in the moment of decision-making

As if we were the ones to choose

Fools to think we’ve got power to move freely on the string of occurrences
Time lapses

Between the past and the present

What will follow?

A fallen part of a porcelain vase appearing at the bottom of our tea cup.
Picture on the walls that used to make sense

I had a habit of staring at grandmothers collection of crystals she had displayed in her Victorian styled parlour

They were like minature animals in a zoo of
Glass

She must have hoped deep down inside that they were to remain
Despite of her departure

Devotion to the belief of destiny
Is a tough call
For the impatient mind
That remembers dreams

Swept away by a cleaner randomly doing his job
Did he have a choice?

Voices become single stringed violin players were the tones last forever

There is an end

A pinked coloured dotted line hanging on the corner of every room

We’ve touched it

Arrived at it

Again

And fell

Again

A beautifully delivered performance

Life
An orchestra
Of sound
Tremendous

Give time to what you belive in

Like Lasso Around the Moon

The need to belong is stronger than the desire to survive

No one hangs on whilst she fumbles to find her keys
Except you, and you’re already made up

In ignorance she travels the world in hope of finding affection

She

Switches of like a lamp

Bottomless Pocket

the type of construction
one erects
to celebrate
what’s left of independence.
Is it enough?

dwindle in a sea of colours
I’m done with swimming in tight air
I’m air-conditioned
diving in an
ocean
of unimportant
matters

life matters

causes enough to derail
Semi-detach

at night when you’re at home
cuddling up to your pillow

I’ll rotate on my bed
in this state of mind that wont let me sleep
hazardless elevation
a mountain from which there are several
routes breaking down
into water
drops
stages

you’re a skyscraper
watch me fall

Und Retake Redo Restate Set up Start over Restage Revert Reabsorb Recess Retract Refine Reshuffle React Reschedule Resize Discourage Rewind Reacquire Re-evaluate Reduce Re-establish Rectify Recreate Rediscover Redeploy Reject Reactivate Relive Retry Reset Reopen Read Reaffirm Reek Realign Realise Rekindle Reappear Reapply Reappoint Rearrange Review


I’m not a turtle
My skin is not thick
I move sluggishly forward in vain desire to
Leave a firm status quo
Without revolutionising the middle classes
Step back
Relocate
Shoot off

Witness
Enter clarity
For a critical view

Draw
A
Line

Label it
The end

Ray

I try to run away from this road that follows me everywhere
This arrow of light
Straightness
A hi-road of predictable happenings
They’ve been mentioned
On several occasions
Written down on paper
Shouted
Laid down in patterns

They say its my destiny to be promising
Stand tall
Breathe deep
Sit big
Be dancing vigorously
Spread laughter
Find a voice to talk with
Quickly open white rooms
Feel the draft
Open doors

I go against this
as often as I can
Dying to hold reality
Eagerly grabbing
Every intoxicated opportunity

And all I care about
Has nothing to do with logic

Melody

This
foreign country opens up and closes
Beneath
Above
Beyond the first feverish touch
falls
Morning dew on grass straws

A childish bargain
We once reached
You’re eyes have fallen asleep

One has to pay for an unspoken goodbye
For this ambiguous end
For Michelangelo’s imitation of the last judgment
As you stood before me
He showed me exits
And forcefully pushed me into a narrower dimension
A hasty state of mind

I agreed without choice
To a take-off into
No more

Chasing Cars

So many places
Objects
Homes
Left behind

Attempts

Untitled darkness beneath stones

So many misunderstandings
Raised eyebrows
Disappointments
Luggage



Where do I go now?

Not personal Yet

I don’t take drugs
Despite
Hanging on thin air
I’ve been advised not to
By people who’s
Never tried
Love

I smoke cigarettes
Occasionally
When others are watching
When there is reason to be
More man than a woman
When I want to draw attention
To my red fingers and my destiny

Nicotine makes me want to
Give up
What was given?
When all there is
Is a desire
To grasp

When all there is
Is in front of my eyes
And someone seem to talk in the background
I don’t know her
She’s not my sister
Nevertheless she’s willing
To risk her life
For my happiness

Sacrifice
Can
Be a truly wonderful experience

Liberty

Dry sand eats your bare feet
Scratches your heals
Water washes away fragments of your skin
Echoes the fumbling of toes
Under cover

A in- between zone
Placed
Deliberately
By no one
You’re life is a wobbling bowl of seawater
That splashes against distant rocks
Where nobody feels hurt

I guess the things that are close
Are far