My Fathers Watch

my father died when I was three
I was digging through his drawers
where my mother kept his things
wanting to find a treasure

something that would bring him back to me
everyday secretly
but all I found was an old calendar
three Solidarity badges and a golden Swiss watch

he used to wear this watch on every photograph
Rome, the Alps, the Northern sea
death left nothing of him to me
except courage

I buried the watch until it was out of sight
sand earth dust my heart
Thinking: morbid to hold on to
Death

no end, not even physical
I look at the sea in peace
meaningful meaningless
insignificant indifference

and the sea and sand that has seen it all